The photo of someone who has died is often not the one you would choose. It's the one that exists: a wedding print from decades ago, a small picture in a funeral program, a blurred snapshot sent to a family group chat. Turning it into something stitched can be a way to keep them close, and it deserves care.
This guide is about doing that honestly. It covers finding and scanning the best version of the photos you have, what a face needs from a photograph, sizing, black and white charts, and the words underneath. It also says plainly where a photo won't carry a portrait, and what can be just as meaningful instead.
For a memorial cross stitch: **(1)** gather every photo and look for the **original print or file**; **(2)** scan prints at **300 dpi**, or **400 to 600 dpi** to enlarge, in **grayscale** for black and white photos; **(3)** choose the photo where the **face is sharpest**, even over a favorite; **(4)** size the chart so **each eye gets about 5 stitches or more**, and no larger than the photo supports; **(5)** consider a **black and white or sepia chart** for old photos; **(6)** keep the lettering short and **check names and dates twice**. If the face can't be carried, a simpler piece is not a lesser one.
## Faces are less forgiving than pets
A pet portrait tolerates a lot. Fur is texture, and a stitch out of place in a coat reads as softness. [Pet memorial cross stitch](/blog/pet-memorial-cross-stitch) covers that case; a person is harder.
We know the faces of people we love precisely. A mouth one stitch too wide, an eye a shade too dark, or a jaw smoothed away by too few colors, and the family sees someone else. That doesn't mean a memorial portrait isn't possible. It means the photo and the size matter more than for any other subject, and it's worth making the decisions before buying floss.
## Gathering the photos
Look further than the first photo that comes to mind.
- **Printed albums and frames.** Older generations often exist only in prints. The print is usually better than any copy of it.
- **Other relatives.** Siblings, cousins and old friends may have prints or files you've never seen, from angles you never had.
- **The original digital file.** A photo sent through a messaging app or saved from social media is usually a smaller, more compressed copy. Ask whoever took it for the original.
- **Slides and negatives.** Some family photos exist only as slides. They need a much higher scan resolution than prints, as below.
- **Group photos.** A sharp group photo, cropped to one face, can beat a blurry portrait. But check the size of that face first, as below.
Put the candidates in one place and look at them at full size, not as thumbnails.
### Scanning prints and slides
A flatbed scanner gets more out of a print than a phone pointed at it. The Library of Congress guide [Scanning Your Personal Collections](https://digitalpreservation.gov/personalarchiving/documents/PA_scanning.pdf) is two pages long and covers what matters:
| What you're scanning | Library of Congress guidance |
|---|---|
| 4 × 6 or 5 × 7 inch prints | 300 dpi |
| Prints you'll enlarge to 8 × 10 inches or more | 400 or 600 dpi |
| Slides | Around 1,900 dpi, because slides are smaller than prints |
| Black and white photographs | Grayscale, which it calls best for black and white photos |
| Color photos you may reprint or enlarge | High-quality JPEG |
It also recommends cleaning the scanner glass first, removing tape and clips without damaging the photo, and keeping at least two copies of the scans stored in different places. For a family's only photos of someone, that last point matters more than any chart.
If you have no scanner, lay the print flat in daylight, hold the phone directly above it so the print isn't skewed, and avoid reflections from windows or lamps. Glossy prints pick up glare easily.
## Choosing the photo
With a memorial you choose the best of what exists, and every option usually has a flaw.
| If the photo has | What it means for the chart |
|---|---|
| A sharp face, an ordinary moment | Usually the best choice. Likeness lives in the eyes and mouth. |
| A treasured occasion, but a soft face | Hard to carry as a detailed portrait. Consider a simpler treatment. |
| Strong shadow across the eyes | The eyes may become dark patches. Look for another frame. |
| Glasses with glare | The glare will be stitched. Try a photo where the lenses are clear. |
| A face small in a group | Check the pixels across the face before you crop (below). |
| Faded color or a strong yellow cast | Usually better as a black and white or sepia chart. |
| Something they always wore or held | Worth keeping: a hat, a pipe, a brooch can be as recognizable as the face. |
The hard truth is that **the most meaningful photo isn't always the one that will stitch**. If the eyes aren't clear in the photograph, the chart can't invent them. It's kind to yourself to make previews from two or three candidates before deciding.
If a family member will receive the piece, ask them which photo they see when they think of that person. It's often not the one you'd expect.
## Does the photo hold enough detail?
Two quick checks answer this before you make any chart.
**Pixels across the face.** Open the scan or file and crop to the face. The width of that crop in pixels is the most detail the chart can have across the face. As arithmetic: a face 80 pixels wide, charted 120 stitches wide, stretches each pixel over 1.5 stitches. The chart gets larger, not sharper, and faces show that softness more than anything else. [Making a cross stitch pattern from a low-resolution photo](/blog/low-resolution-photo-cross-stitch) goes into this in more detail.
**Stitches across an eye.** Measure one eye as a share of the width of your crop, then multiply by the chart width you have in mind. An eye needs room for a rim, iris, pupil and catchlight as separate stitches, which is about 5 at the very least. As arithmetic: if one eye is a tenth of the crop width, a 60-stitch chart gives it 6 stitches and a 100-stitch chart gives it 10. [Photo cross stitch pattern size](/blog/photo-cross-stitch-pattern-size) has the full method and a table.
If the first check says the photo is small and the second says the eye needs a large chart, the photo can't carry a detailed portrait. That's the moment to choose a different treatment, not to push the size up.
## Black and white, sepia or color?
Many memorial photos are black and white, or color prints that have faded. You have three choices.
- **Keep it black and white.** A chart in greys stitches a monochrome photo faithfully, and the result looks deliberate and timeless. [Black and white cross stitch patterns](/blog/black-and-white-cross-stitch-pattern) explains how many greys to use and why pure black and white alone looks harsh.
- **Keep the sepia.** A warm brown palette suits old prints and avoids guessing at colors.
- **Colorize or restore it first.** Tools that add color or sharpen faces work by guessing. Those guesses can change eye color, skin tone or the shape of a smile, and the result can look subtly unlike the person. If you use one, show the result to someone who knew them before you chart it.
For faded color prints, correcting the overall color cast in a photo editor is a smaller step than colorizing, because it adjusts colors the photo already has. Compare the preview of the corrected and uncorrected versions.
## When the face won't carry a portrait
Sometimes the honest answer is that the only photo is too small, too soft or too dark for a recognizable face. A memorial piece can still be deeply personal:
- **A small portrait.** A small chart keeps a soft photo's blur below what the eye notices, and finishes as an ornament that comes out every year. [Photo Christmas ornament cross stitch](/blog/photo-christmas-ornament-cross-stitch) covers that size.
- **A silhouette.** A profile or outline in one or two colors, from a photo where the shape is clear even if the face isn't.
- **Something that was theirs.** Their house, their garden, their dog, their car, the chair by the window. A clearer photo of a place or object can be more evocative than a blurred face.
- **Their handwriting.** A line from a card or letter, photographed flat and charted, or traced and stitched in backstitch.
- **Name and dates alone,** with a simple border or a flower they loved.
None of these is a second-best. Families often find an object or a line of handwriting more moving than a portrait, because it holds a memory rather than a likeness.
## If the photo was taken by a professional
Studio portraits, school photos, wedding photos and the portrait on a funeral program were often taken by a professional photographer. As general information and not legal advice: the US Copyright Office explains that [when you take a photograph, you are its author and owner](https://www.copyright.gov/what-is-copyright/), and that preparing derivative works is one of the owner's rights. A family owning the print doesn't mean it owns the copyright.
For a single piece stitched for your family, many photographers are glad to give permission if asked, and the studio may no longer exist. [Using photos for cross stitch: the copyright rules](/blog/cross-stitch-copyright-photos) sets out what the official sources say, and what changes if you plan to sell anything.
## Checking the preview
Make two or three versions: different sizes, and color against black and white. Then look closely.
1. **The eyes.** Count the stitches across one. If it's two or three, crop tighter, go wider, or choose a simpler treatment.
2. **The catchlight.** A single pale stitch in each eye is what makes a stitched face look alive.
3. **The mouth.** Two lips and a line between them. A smile that has become a smear changes the expression.
4. **Glasses, hair, jewelry.** The details that make it them. Make sure they survived.
5. **From a distance.** Step back from the screen. If they're recognizable across the room, they will be on a wall.
6. **With someone who knew them.** This matters most. Show the preview to a family member and ask whether it looks like the person they remember.
## Name, dates and words
For many families, the lettering is what they read first.
- **Keep it short.** A name and years, or a name and a few words, reads well at stitch scale. A long verse needs a much wider chart.
- **Plan the rows.** As arithmetic: letters 7 stitches tall with a 3-row gap above them add 10 rows, about 0.7 inches on 14-count Aida. Add that to the fabric size.
- **Check spellings and dates with someone else.** Middle names, maiden names and exact dates are easy to get slightly wrong in grief.
- **Use the name people used.** "Nana" or a nickname can mean more than a formal name.
- **Use a color already in the chart**, such as the darkest shade of hair or clothing. It ties the piece together and saves a skein.
## Time, and not racing a date
Stitching speed varies a lot, so measure your own. Stitch one 10 × 10 block (100 stitches) from a detailed area and time it, then multiply. As arithmetic only: at 15 minutes a block, a 100 × 120 chart of 12,000 stitches is 120 blocks, or 30 hours; at four hours a week, about seven or eight weeks.
It's natural to aim for an anniversary, a birthday or a memorial service. If time is short, choose a smaller piece you'll finish calmly. A memorial that arrives later is received the same way, and it's fine to put the work down for a while when it feels heavy. [Cross stitch gifts from photos](/blog/cross-stitch-gifts-from-photos) shows how to count back from a date.
## Stitching and keeping it
- **Start from the center** of the design and the fabric, as [DMC recommends](https://www.dmc.com/US/en/technique-cross-stitch-begin), so the portrait and the lettering land where you planned.
- **Keep the printed photo beside you.** When two shades look alike on the chart, it tells you what the stitches are meant to be.
- **Buy the main colors together**, with a spare skein of the largest ones. DMC floss comes in [8 meter / 8.7 yard skeins](https://www.dmc.com/US/en/products/mouline-special), and DMC describes its dyes as colorfast and highly fade resistant.
- **Wash gently before framing**, following DMC's [guidance for finished needlework](https://www.dmc.com/US/en/technique-embroidery-clean-wash-finished-work): cold water, a little non-biological detergent, and stop if the rinse water becomes colored.
If more than one person should be in the piece, parents together or a family around a grandparent, [family portrait cross stitch from one photo](/blog/family-portrait-cross-stitch) explains how many stitches each face needs.
When you're ready, [upload the photo you've chosen](/#start) and look at the eyes in the preview before anything else.
## Frequently asked questions
### Can I make a memorial cross stitch from an old photo?
Yes, and a good scan makes the biggest difference. The Library of Congress suggests 300 dpi for 4 by 6 and 5 by 7 inch prints, and 400 or 600 dpi to enlarge them, with grayscale for black and white photographs. Scan the print itself rather than photographing it, and clean the scanner glass first.
### What if the only photo of them is small or blurry?
Choose a smaller, simpler piece rather than a large detailed one. A chart can't add detail the photo doesn't hold, and a face stretched past what the photo carries looks like a stranger. A modest portrait, a silhouette, a meaningful object, or their name and dates can each be a lovely memorial.
### How big should a memorial portrait cross stitch be?
Big enough that each eye gets about five stitches or more, and no bigger than the photo can support. Work it out: chart width times the eye's share of the photo width. As arithmetic, if one eye is a tenth of the cropped photo's width, a 100-stitch chart gives each eye about 10 stitches.
### Should I colorize or restore an old photo before charting it?
Be careful. Colorizing and AI restoration tools guess at colors and details the photo doesn't contain, and a guessed face can look subtly unlike the person. If you use one, show the result to someone who knew them before you chart it. A black and white or sepia chart is often truer.
### Can I use a professional portrait for a memorial cross stitch?
Check first. As general information, not legal advice, the US Copyright Office says the person who takes a photograph is its author and owner, so a studio or school portrait usually belongs to the photographer. Many photographers will agree to a one-off stitched piece if you ask in writing.
### What should a memorial cross stitch say?
Usually a name and dates, sometimes a short phrase they used or that the family chose. Keep it brief, smaller than the portrait, and in a color already in the chart. Check the spelling and dates with another family member before stitching, because it is the most painful thing to unpick.
## Sources
- [Library of Congress — Scanning Your Personal Collections (300 dpi prints; 400 or 600 dpi to enlarge; about 1,900 dpi for slides; grayscale for black and white; two copies)](https://digitalpreservation.gov/personalarchiving/documents/PA_scanning.pdf)
- [US Copyright Office — What is Copyright? (photographs; the photographer is the author and owner; derivative works)](https://www.copyright.gov/what-is-copyright/)
- [DMC — How to begin cross stitch (start in the middle of the design and fabric)](https://www.dmc.com/US/en/technique-cross-stitch-begin)
- [DMC — Cotton Embroidery Floss (Mouliné Spécial): 8.7 yard / 8 meter skeins, colorfast and fade-resistant dyes](https://www.dmc.com/US/en/products/mouline-special)
- [DMC — How to clean and wash finished needlework](https://www.dmc.com/US/en/technique-embroidery-clean-wash-finished-work)